💗 An exploration of relationship healing, self-worth and emotional boundaries, reflecting on the importance of mutual effort, personal responsibility and learning to love others without abandoning ourselves.
Every interaction within a connection or relationship presents an opportunity to build it up or break it down. If you wholeheartedly believe you have exhausted all efforts to foster a safe, healthy, and loving connection, yet find the other is unwilling to meet your needs or desires in a healthy manner and invest in the connection or relationship, it may be time to change direction, prioritize yourself, and focus on your internal healing.
Every relationship requires mutual effort and an open heart for continuous growth and healing; therefore, it’s crucial to recognize that each person is responsible for their actions and growth. You need to acknowledge that you can’t change or control another person’s behavior with your love; they can only change for themselves. If you believe everything would be fine if they just changed, it may indicate you need to heal from codependency, attachment, people pleasing, or low self-esteem. That said, you don’t need external validation for completeness; your worth and value are inherent – so don’t abandon yourself by rejecting your needs and desires.
As you heal, you will learn to establish boundaries, assert yourself, and cultivate self-respect and self-love. You will learn not to tolerate intentional or unintentional harmful behavior and to stop playing the victim role and vilifying people such as the narcissist or avoidant. You will care less about labeling and realize that a relationship or connection isn’t possible with someone who is forcing a disconnection because you can’t control other people’s behavior, and that self-awareness and healing are needed on their behalf to even come to a mutual agreement.
This process of healing may lead to disconnecting with those who don’t value you and connecting with those who appreciate and reciprocate your love, true love where you feel safe, respected, and cherished. You will learn the lesson to feel worthy of your needs and whatever your heart desires and refuse to settle for anything less. Whether you feel you’re the victim or the villain, we all deserve to heal and receive love. It’s through this collective healing that we can move forward, not only for ourselves but also for the betterment of the world and humanity.
Written April 2024